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Pslam 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes came upon me to eat at my flesh, they stumbled and fell, though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear, and a war shall rise against me, in this will I be confident."


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Beginnings!!

I don't know about you but I am ready to end 2010. This has been a challenging year for me. I am facing new changes in 2011. I am divorced and a single mother of 4. But I have all the peace and joy that surpassess all understanding.
I bought Lysa Terkeurst's Made to Crave and I am all signed up for the web telecast. I am excited and I cannot wait! I praise God for this opportunity. I feel that this will be one of the best decisions I will make in 2011. I am not sure what my problem is with food. I mean I don't have to have it. But I do know I LOVE sweets. I will eat something sweet before anything healthy. Plus I will eat something I can just grab instead of make something healthy. I also love carbs.
Another problem that I have is that I have ZERO matabolism. None. Nada. I need to get off my behinda and get on a treadmill. I started this last October and I am starting to run and I admit that I do love it. Well the holidays hit and I have been busy and Mr. Treadmill has had to wait. But today I am back on it!!
Another thing I am going to search for is the peace and joy of God. Also self control. That will be a toughy. Oh goodness, lets just say the Fruit of the Spirit will be my goal. I need all of them. LOL

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sisterhood!

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had just found out that my husband had been having an affair. I had for small children at home and my 13 year marriage had ended. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I pray you have not been in that situation before but if you had, you know that feeling. You cannot think, you cannot feel. You are in a state of shock. But you still have to be a mommy to the little ones without them realizing what had just happened to their family.
My son Tyler had a best friend name Jimmy. Jimmy's mom (Angela) and I had become the closest of friends. Words do not describe the love I have for this woman. Looking back I cannot tell you how Angela came to my house or why she came to my house that night. But she was there. She held me as I cried. She prayed as I mourned. I kept saying over and over "What am I going to do?" and she gave me the best advice I still follow to this day, ten years later. She said, "When you don't know what to do, don't to anything."
I cannot tell you the relief I had over that. She told me that it's ok to not do anything. As a mother you feel like you have to fix this for the children. You have to make this better somehow and maintain the happy household you thought you had hours before.
She reminded to me to mourn my loss and I have a right to do that. She was there all night for me. She came back the next day and took care of me and my children during this time.
Now, ten years later both of our lives have changed. We don't get to see each other as much. We always say we need to plan time together and visit but we can never get our schedules to work. The other day my son had to go to the Emergency Room because he was hit in the head with a ball. We wanted to get it checked out so we ran to the ER. There standing in the ER was Angela. She was working as a nurse at the hospital. We saw each other, ran into each other's arms, and cried and cried. It felt so good to see her. She felt like home to me. The bond we have created will never be broken no matter how many years we go without seeing each other. I love her with all my heart.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lays down his life for his friends.
Visit Rachel Olsen's blog to read all about the devotion carnival!!
Praise God for Sisterhood!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Bible Study!

I did it!! I have volunteered to start a bible study at work. Right now, today, I feel like I have must of lost my mind. This is my third study at work. It's....strange to do a study at your place of employment. You have women who are mad at another in the study because they complained to a supervisor...so they both drop the class. You have one who starts having an affair with her boss...so she drops the class. You have people that complain about too much work and they drop the class.
I wonder where did I go wrong Lord? I felt lead to do this and something was amiss somewhere. And then it hit me. When I did the first study, it was God driven. I knew what he wanted and how to maneuver in it. When we ended that one another person offered to do another study. I did NOT pray over that. I did not ask God's direction, I just thought that if its a bible study then that must be ok...right? Wrong! The whole thing fell apart.
This time God put it in my heart to try this again. We are studying Chip Ingrams the R12 factor. Which I feel that is what God wanted. I make my promise now that I will NOT do anything without the guidance from God. We have a full house of attendees and are very excited.
Now I need to make sure I spend time with God each week to make this happen.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Stand Tough In Love

One of the hardest things for me as a parent is to stand tough in Love. My oldest son is 22 and we are at the age there I am going to have to start cutting the apron strings. I remember when my mom did this for me. I was living on my own but still going to mom and dad when I needed extra cash. I would over spend during the week and ask them to help the rest of the week. I was about 22 at the time. I remember my mom being consistent each time in telling me "No." I was angry at that time but it was the best thing she could have done. I had to learn to support myself and budget on my own.
I am thinking we are at this point with Tyler. For the first time I did it this week. I told him "No." He was not happy. Actually he was angry. Stormed out of the house and walked on foot to....I don't know where. He never came home that night. Probably teaching me a lesson. But I had peace about it. I surrendered Tyler to Jesus a long time ago. Tyler's journey in life is riddled with mountains and valleys. By his own choosing. If I did not surrender him to Christ, I would have been stressed out and anxiety ridden years ago. So for my own health and peace, I laid him at the cross of Christ.
The next day I texted him and he was safe. He stayed at a friends house.
But personally, I felt great! I did what was so hard for me to do previously. I loved him enough to tell him "No."
Lord keep giving me strength.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sister Friends!

At the ripe ole' age of 43 I am just now learning what a true friend is. Sad isn't it? Webster's definition is
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who is on good terms with another; a personwho is not hostile. Seems kind of cold to me.
I had one of those day's yesterday. One of those days where I cry and cry and I don't know why. Nothing too earth shattering. I have had worse days and I didn't shed a tear. I know I have a great friend who I have not been able to talk to and I was missing them. So one of my friends ( A sister in Christ), was here for me. All she had to do was ask what was wrong with the Love of Christ in her eyes and I let it all out. I didn't even know what I was holding in. I do that, I am a suppressor. There is a song by Nicole C Mullin where she sings, "I got a sister friend (Who loves me) I'm crying and whining again. She lets me vent my heart, before the healing starts." That is a trait of a great "Sister Friend". One who will let you vent your heart and then...allow the healing to start.
I am truly blessed in my life with wonderful Sister Friends. We learn from each other. We encourage each other. We make mistakes and still love each other.
Thank you Lord for Sister's in Christ!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

A Typical Mom!

We have all been there. The feeling of tiredness, feeling of unappreciated. Typical "mom feeling." Completely strung out and being pulled in all directions. This was my Sunday. To the point where at the end of the day, getting ready for bed, I cried to the Lord. He let me go on and on and then peace washes all over me.
It is tough being a mom today, very tough being a single mom. I don't have it as bad as most single mothers. My ex-husband will do all he can to help with the running of the children. For that I am grateful! But yesterday was crazy. Five teenagers going in different directions. Only one of them is driving. Driving to and from church twice, unexpected guest in need in the afternoon, groceries in the morning before church, driving friends home from church, driving one to work and back. Then ending the day with an intense bible study that I am two weeks behind on.
So I am going to take the advice of Pollyanna and play the Glad Game! I am glad that my children love church so much that they want to move in! I am glad that my son has a job to drive to. I am glad that my home felt comfortable enough for people to stop by and spend time in a home that is trying to serve the Lord. I am glad for a relationship with God to cry to Him at night. I am glad for a good nights sleep.
There. I feel so much better.
Here is to all you mother's out there. I life my cup of Folger's to you!! You go girl!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Proud Moment!

One of my downfalls as a christian is that I never enjoy or "revel" in the great moments with Christ. I move onto the next thing to fast to sit and dwell on the awesomeness of God. I am too busy moving and shaking. But last night and today I am making myself dwell and be reminded of how in control he is.
My 13 year old son Alex is involved in a ministry at our church called, "Church on the Street." It ministers to the homeless. While he was working at the ministry he was talking to another parent from the church. Alex asked about his daughter Dakota who is also 13. The father said she is not doing well. Her close friend committed suicide the other day. There is this game children play with a wire wrapped around their next and squeeze until they pass out. Dakota's friend used the same type of wire to kill herself.
Last night at church Alex went up to Dakota and said, "Do you have anyone to sit with tonight?" Dakota said, "I don't have any friends." Alex was with his friend Katherine and said, "Well you have two now, come sit with us." And they sat together during church. My oldest daughter is camera happy and she started taking pictures after church. Dakota says, "don't take my picture, I am to ugly and the camera with break." Alex and Emily told her how beautiful she was.
I was proud of Alex for at the age of 13 he ministered to the needs of this girl. He served!! I home school my children and one thing I have taught them is that they are here to serve NOT to be served. AND what an awesome feeling that is to help others.
As we were snuggling on the bed last night and telling him how proud I am of him and giving him kisses all over his face, much to his dismay, I pondered why girls are so hard on themselves.
Where did we as parents go wrong? Are we allowing society to overtake our families and our children? My daughters struggle with being valued as much as the next person. But as I emailed to sister in Christ today, why are our daughters feeling more valued by boyfriends, possessions, beauty? Shouldn't we be teaching them the value they have in Christ? I too am at fault for this. I need to stress this more! Tell them more that they are wonderful children of God and the Creator of the Universe loves them exactly the way He made them. Beautiful in his sight!!
As a parent I get so scared of what our children are facing today. I have learned that I have to walk closely and cling to the cross to be able to discern what God is teaching me and telling me about my children. I cannot miss a beat! I have to have ears to hear! Lord help me to always be hearing your promptings for my children. In Jesus Name.....

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Prayer at the Pole!

Today in St. Louis, we are having "Prayer at the Pole." This is where the kids meet (mostly high school) at the flag pole and pray for their school, their teachers and our country. I listen to our christain radio station Joy FM. We, here in St. Louis, are so blessed to have this station filtering throughout our city. They are said to be the fastest growing radio station in St. Louis.
It was wonderful to listen to the kids talk about who is showing up, how many are showing up (great turn out), and what is on their hearts and minds. God has to be smiling.
I am not sure if everyone likes contemporary christian music. I LOVE it! There was an article on CNN about how this genre is the fastest growing music. It is filled with great music, lyrics and a positive message. What is not to like??
Thank you Lord for allowing our city to be blessed to have this radio station. Also what is amazing is this station is owned by us. The people. It is from the contributions of people that keep this station going. Not some big wig business man that can take it out from under us.
I am sitting here getting ready to read Devotion Carnival on Rachel Olsens blog sipping my pumpkin spice latte. Simple pleasures right? Those are what help make up a blessed life.
Heavenly Father, thank you for showing us the important of Simple Pleasures. It helps up to see how truly blessed we all are. 

Monday, September 20, 2010

Wisdom Hunter: A speck of hope.

Wisdom Hunter: A speck of hope.: "I have a 22 year old son. His name is Tyler. This boy grew up in church. Gave his heart to the Lord. Spent all of his teenage years serving ..."

Friday, September 17, 2010

A speck of hope.

I have a 22 year old son. His name is Tyler. This boy grew up in church. Gave his heart to the Lord. Spent all of his teenage years serving God in and out of church. Then when he turned 18 he was struggling. He was called into the ministry at a young age but at 18 he was changing his mind. This was a horrible time for him. During this time, he did not get any help from the church he was dedicated to. Even this closest friend was the Assistant Pastor and was blinded by what was happening to my son. When church would start he was struggling with sitting through service. I know that feeling. I have had it also at times in my life. After three times of walking out before church, he was asked to stop doing this for it looks back on the pastor and if he continues to do this, to not come back. This crushed my son. They place he loved to go for 10 years and dedicated his time to has turned their backs on him.
Now, four years later, he turned his back on God. He has chosen to think that how that church thinks is how God thinks. It's a crushing lesson when you realize that Pastor's are human too and do make mistakes and it takes a seasoned believer to know that is NOT how God thinks. He has spent the last four years running. Really running from God. Arrests, drug use, alcohol use. Two years of college and now holding down an assistant managers job, still partying and running in the wrong direction.
Dating women who are just as lost as he is. This is so hard for a mother to watch and go through. All you can do is stand on the word and the promise of Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child int he way her should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it "(NIV). I also rest upon Jeremiah 30:10, "So don't be afraid, my servant, do not be dismayed says the Lord. For I will bring you home again from distant lands, and your children will return from their exile."
I know Tyler has the gift of free will but its hard to keep quiet when you watch him making one bad decision after another. So much so that you have to separate yourself from it. Emotionally let go and let God. Lay them at the feet of the cross and surrender. 
Last night he came home from work and told me he is breaking up with his girlfriend. She was not what he is looking for. When discussing bills to pay he said, "I need to pray about that." Now in the old days I would jump for joy and believe me, I am thankful that the foundation bubbles forth, but what I am witnessing is the struggle that is going on in his soul. This is also heartbreaking to watch. I take that has a sign to me to NOT give up and my prayers. That God is moving and working. Thank you Lord for not giving up on us. I will continue to press on.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Introduction

Please let me introduce myself. My name is Robin Jordan. I am a single monther of 4. Three of them are teenagers and one is 22. I also have an 18 year old who is living with us until he finds his way. Long story.
My mother told me that I need to write a book on the "adventures" of my life. Since I am not that motivated, I thought blogging will help with the stress factor. So at this moment, I have a blog, a personal journal and a journal to God. You would think I would be covered on the stress factor. But I have my moments.
So here it is. My first blog. I have never done one before so here is to hoping I am diligent.
I dedicate this blog to all the women, mothers, single mothers, grandmothers who are trying to do their best. Who are trying to serve God, stand strong on principals and who, at the end of the day, may feel beat up at times. Come in and relax. We are all in this together.
Now I am not saying I know it all. Ha! Just the opposite. I don't know alot. I am just trying to make it one day at a time like you. Some days I feel like I made it and some days I feel like I stumbled. I will be as honest as possible on this in hopes that you know exactly what I am talking about. Because there is no way that I am the only mother dealing with issues of these teenagers.
I just want to be able to make it by the sweat of my brow and here my Lord say, "See....told you, you would make it!"