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Pslam 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes came upon me to eat at my flesh, they stumbled and fell, though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear, and a war shall rise against me, in this will I be confident."


Friday, September 17, 2010

A speck of hope.

I have a 22 year old son. His name is Tyler. This boy grew up in church. Gave his heart to the Lord. Spent all of his teenage years serving God in and out of church. Then when he turned 18 he was struggling. He was called into the ministry at a young age but at 18 he was changing his mind. This was a horrible time for him. During this time, he did not get any help from the church he was dedicated to. Even this closest friend was the Assistant Pastor and was blinded by what was happening to my son. When church would start he was struggling with sitting through service. I know that feeling. I have had it also at times in my life. After three times of walking out before church, he was asked to stop doing this for it looks back on the pastor and if he continues to do this, to not come back. This crushed my son. They place he loved to go for 10 years and dedicated his time to has turned their backs on him.
Now, four years later, he turned his back on God. He has chosen to think that how that church thinks is how God thinks. It's a crushing lesson when you realize that Pastor's are human too and do make mistakes and it takes a seasoned believer to know that is NOT how God thinks. He has spent the last four years running. Really running from God. Arrests, drug use, alcohol use. Two years of college and now holding down an assistant managers job, still partying and running in the wrong direction.
Dating women who are just as lost as he is. This is so hard for a mother to watch and go through. All you can do is stand on the word and the promise of Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child int he way her should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it "(NIV). I also rest upon Jeremiah 30:10, "So don't be afraid, my servant, do not be dismayed says the Lord. For I will bring you home again from distant lands, and your children will return from their exile."
I know Tyler has the gift of free will but its hard to keep quiet when you watch him making one bad decision after another. So much so that you have to separate yourself from it. Emotionally let go and let God. Lay them at the feet of the cross and surrender. 
Last night he came home from work and told me he is breaking up with his girlfriend. She was not what he is looking for. When discussing bills to pay he said, "I need to pray about that." Now in the old days I would jump for joy and believe me, I am thankful that the foundation bubbles forth, but what I am witnessing is the struggle that is going on in his soul. This is also heartbreaking to watch. I take that has a sign to me to NOT give up and my prayers. That God is moving and working. Thank you Lord for not giving up on us. I will continue to press on.

9 comments:

  1. My heart goes out to you Robin. You said it right, let go and let God. Pray and keep talking. Keep loving. Remember the prodigal son/loving father. Never give up hope for sometimes it is all we have.

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  2. As a mother I too can understand your concern and frustration. God is also aware of where you are in this battle. I have learned the most important thing is to never stop praying and don't give up. God has done some amazing things for our teens and young adults and I have learned that my limitations are not God's limitations. He never gives up. I will be praying for you and your son. Don't miss any of the lessons and blessings available through this experience.

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  3. NEVER. GIVE. UP.

    Pray, obey & follow the God who delivers from all that holds us hostage!

    Stay strong, Mom and keep communicating with him. Sounds like he's believing some pretty yucky stuff about how God sees him! (satan loves to do that)

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  4. YES, keep praying! God is at work as usual. Thank you for being willing to share something that is so very hard!

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  5. Here's a verse that I hung on to during some hard times (drugs, alcohol, mental illness, REALLY bad choices) with my older kids, 18-23: Isaiah 65:23 They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune, for they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants after them.

    Still waiting, but standing on the Word. I know that God will use this time in your son's life to make him sensitive to how he treats others who are slipping away. My own verse is Luke 22:32 When you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.

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  6. Thank you all so much! I meant to do simple pleasures but I was confused on how this works. I have a handle on it now. But obviously, God had other plans. He knew I needed to hear this! Thank you all so much!!

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  7. I will be praying that God will place someone in your son's life who will show him God's true unconditional love & grace. I will also be praying for you. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Mary

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  8. Keep pressing on for your precious son.
    God's plans for Tyler will NOT be thwarted!
    HE will use it all for HIS purposes.
    It's a priviledge to pray for you.
    Peace.

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  9. Hi Robin,

    I will be praying for you, and your son and also your friend. As bad as things get sometimes I always stand firm on Romans 8:28, my story spoke to someone today, and your story will to. God is working in your life and I can't wait to see how it unfolds, I know He is going to do great things.

    Blessings,

    Kandi

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